Serve the Pasta: What Strategic Planning Has in Common with Parenting

Serve the Pasta: What Strategic Planning Has in Common with Parenting

One of the most freeing moments in my life as a mother came when I stopped asking my toddlers what they wanted for dinner. I just made what I felt would best suit the mood. And guess what? Everyone was happier.

That shift—from asking to leading—has served me in every leadership role I’ve held, from running major cultural institutions to advising nonprofit boards. And it’s especially useful when we talk about strategic planning.

Most leaders are generous, thoughtful, and collaborative. But that strength can become a barrier when it’s time to make decisions. We want everyone to feel heard. We want to build consensus. We ask for input at every turn. And sometimes, we get stuck there.

For fun, let’s call it the dinner dilemma. We ask: “Chicken, pasta, tofu, something else?” And the kids say: “I don’t know.” Or they say nothing. Meanwhile, everyone gets hungrier and we become more frustrated.

It’s the same at work. We become so focused on ensuring everyone is happy with every word of a strategic or business plan that actually getting to work on our goals and objectives becomes delayed—or even grinds to a halt.

Strategic planning isn’t about force-feeding your organization. But it is about leadership. About setting a direction, based on real listening and honest reflection, and then moving toward it.

Plans fail when they try to please everyone. Plans fail when they are too abstract, too vague, or too big. The best plans I’ve seen have clarity, courage, and flexibility built in. Not just in the document, but in the behavior of the leaders stewarding it.

Leadership means saying: here is what I believe. Here is what I’m hearing. Here is the path I think we should take. And then, after taking everyone’s feedback into account, bravely saying: “Even though we may not all completely agree, will you walk with me?”

And if you’re not sure where to start? Start small. Pick one goal and go for it.

Serve the pasta.

—Sophia Shaw is Co-founder of PlanPerfect: expert-powered, AI-assisted strategic planning software for small and midsized nonprofits. Connect with her on LinkedIn or at sophia@planperfect.co.