Happy Birthday, Dear One.

Happy Birthday, Dear One.

When we suffer emotional pain, an often-recommended method of self-care is to imagine ourselves comforting, hugging, or otherwise tenderly caring for our younger self. When this idea was introduced to me a few years ago, it felt odd at first. But over time, the practice of embracing the girl who had experienced so much childhood pain yielded a very positive shift in my levels of anxiety and self-love. The imaginary tender touch evolved into my saying reassuring words to “her,” such as “okay, you've got this, it’s alright, you’re safe, you’re loved, you’re not alone.”

Today, on my 57th birthday (an early January birthday’s co-incidence with the New Year allows for coinciding fresh-start personal essays), I thought I might apply this tool to the act of stepping into something new and uncertain. Might releasing ourselves from childhood memories of repercussions of failure allow us as adults to be bolder in taking risks—starting a new job or business, trying a hobby or sport, or changing our point of view? 

I wrestle with the idea of potential failure daily when it comes to my newish business, PlanPerfect, and this week’s 2.0 launch of our software. We are thriving, especially for an early-stage company, but then I doubt myself: what if I’ve spent the past 3.51% of my life—and considerable personal investment—and we fail? How do I face the feelings that arise and remind me of childhood feelings of embarrassment, vulnerability, or abandonment?

One of the gifts of getting older is no longer having to go along with what people expect us to do. The corollary is that we don't even have to go along with what we think we should do. We are allowed to challenge our perceptions of ourselves, especially the ones formed when we were younger. So, in this new year–2026, my 58th, and PlanPerfect’s 2.0–I’m going to give myself the gift of grace when taking risks in an attempt to free my late-middle-age self from the constraints of old habits. A release of the past affords the opportunity to live more fully today.

I realize this is a bit of a ramble, but I hope that it might help in both the pursuit of self-care and also give a boost to anyone contemplating doing the polar plunge of trying something new and worrying it won’t turn out perfectly. Every day is a blessing, and there is no time to waste. Our investments in ourselves and others can be subtle or grand, and they all matter, inspiring us to learn more about who we are, what else we may become, and how we might pleasantly surprise ourselves by what we can accomplish.